When people think of self-care, often massages, yoga, or taking hot baths comes to mind.
It can be these things, and it is also much deeper. Self-care is listening and being in tune to the needs of our bodies, and then taking action to meet those needs. What our body needs is ever changing and learning how to listen to our body helps us respond to the call.
If we feel something isn’t right with our body or health, self-care is paying attention to it, determining what can be done to address it, and working towards making changes that will support our overall health and wellbeing. Perhaps we have chronic inflammation like achy joints and muscles, have been getting sick a lot, experience chronic stomach pain and changes in our bowel movements, or maybe our doctor has shared new lab work that has revealed our cholesterol is high. Self-care is exploring the options I have to help alleviate or address the problem and taking steps to take care of myself.
Self-care is also doing things that feed our soul and bring us joy. Self-care can be as simple as working small things that make us happy into our day. We can also take it a step further to explore what our deepest desires are so we know how to fuel our soul. What makes us happy? What goals do we have for ourselves personally or professionally? What makes our heart sing? What are we passionate about? When do we feel our best? Achieving optimal wellness isn’t just about going through the motions of checking off the boxes of things we do for our health, but really connecting to who we are as a person and finding ways to fuel our soul to become our best, most authentic self. Finding ways to fuel our soul that leads us on a path to our greatest purpose in life is just as important as taking care of our physical self with exercise and diet choices.
The benefits of self-care are far reaching. Engaging in self-care allows us to take a break from stress we may be experiencing and trigger a relaxation response. These moments of relaxation help our breathing, digestion, heart rate, and blood pressure return to a normal state. There are several ways to focus on self-care such as prioritizing quality sleep and nutrient dense meals, making time for our friends, spending time alone, breathing exercises, meditation, nourishing our relationships, and exercising. Taking these breaks consistently will reduce and prevent the damage chronic stress can have on our body and health.
Practicing regular self-care does wonders for my stress levels, ability to get restorative sleep, immune system, helps minimize the amount of times I get sick, helps me to have more patience, be less irritable, feel satisfied and fulfilled, and helps to reduce my autoimmune symptoms and inflammation. Practicing self-care is crucial for all of us, whether we have autoimmune disease and chronic inflammation or not. Often when our health begins to fail, it’s in part because we have pushed ourselves to the bottom of our list of priorities. I really feel a difference when I am lacking in self- care. I start to feel exhausted, irritable, impatient, stressed out, feel sickness coming on, or my joints start to ache.
We tend to let things slide until our body starts screaming at us or we get sick. It’s our bodies way of telling us it’s time to slow down a bit or to do things differently. When it’s time to shift our priorities and move ourselves higher on the list. When we are feeling our best physically and emotionally, we are going to be more resilient and better equipped to handle stress that comes our way.
Like most people, consistency with self-care has ebbed and flowed over the years for me. There were times where it was a part of my regular routine and other times where I struggled and my health suffered big time. Prior to having my daughter, I traveled full time for work for about 10 years. The teaching and education part of my job fed my creativity, career, and fulfilled the “helper” in me. The travel portion of my job, being away from home for 3, 5, 7 nights or longer several times per month, made it more challenging for me to practice regular self-care and take care of myself. After long travel days and even longer work days, I often prioritized sleep over anything else, and therefore, other areas of self-care suffered. Now that I am a Mom, I am challenged in different ways. Every season of life provides different challenges and asks us to reevaluate how we can put our self on top of the list.
Many parents say they don’t have time for self-care. They often feel they are in survival mode and don’t have even a minute to do anything for themselves. Trust me, I hear you, it’s a constant struggle for me too. Parents often feel guilty doing anything for themselves. Parents also feel judged if they are away from their kids doing something for themselves. If we aren’t taking care of ourselves and are running on empty, we won’t have much to give anyone else. If we are already feeling depleted emotionally and physically, we will be less able to handle the stresses that inevitably will pop up. We won’t have patience for the hard days or energy to keep up with our schedule, or may develop other health problems that interfere with our ability to care for our children the way we want to. Putting the oxygen mask on ourselves first will allow us to take care of those we love. Self-care is not selfish.
One thing that changed my mindset about self-care after becoming a Mom is I had to remind myself that as a parent, I am a teacher. My daughter is watching me at all times and I want to be a good role model for her. I want her to experience spending quality time with her Mom and to know how much I love her. I want her to witness me taking care of myself, loving her father, getting my body moving, having time with my girlfriends, laughing a lot, making nutrient dense meals, exploring my life’s purpose and what excites me, and how I do my best to take care of myself. I hope she learns how important it is so when she is out of our home and living on her own, she will have the tools to live her best life. Self-care will be a way of life for her too. I am her teacher. Self-care is not selfish.
Self-care isn’t something we do once and we are all good. Finding ways to implement tiny self-care habits consistently is going to be more beneficial for our immune system and overall health and happiness. I try to do something just for me, something that brings me joy, every day. It may be a long, hot shower at the end of the day, going for a walk, reading a good book, putting a mask on my face, taking a bath with Epsom salt, going to acupuncture, or writing in my journal. I rotate based on what I feel I need that day.
Self-care is a way to love and nourish ourselves and live our best life. Our health is worth it. You are worth it. Self-care is not selfish. It’s crucial.
What is your favorite form of self-care? Mine is acupuncture!
